Why Does My Autistic Child Do That? Understanding Sudden Changes and 'Random' Behavior

Have you ever watched your autistic child completely rearrange a room, abruptly switch activities, or change the day's plan without warning—and wondered, “Why did they do that?”

To outside observers, it might look impulsive, inconsistent, or even defiant. But here’s the truth: there’s always a reason. It just might not be obvious right away.

Let’s explore why these sudden shifts happen and how understanding them can help you respond with more empathy—and less stress.

It’s Not Random, It’s Regulation

For many autistic individuals, the world can feel overwhelming. Sensory input (like noise, smells, lights, or even certain textures) can either overstimulate or under-stimulate their nervous system. According to Tomchek & Dunn (2007), autistic individuals often experience sensory processing differences that affect how they respond to everyday environments.

So when your child suddenly closes all the blinds, moves the furniture, or insists on switching shirts for the third time—it may be their way of self-regulating. Their behavior is a strategy, not a tantrum.

The Need for Control and Predictability

Autistic brains often thrive on routine and predictability. Changes in the environment—or even internal changes, like feeling hungry or anxious—can throw things off. Making quick decisions or changes can be your child’s attempt to restore a sense of control.

As explained by Koenig, Buckley-Reen, and Gargiulo (2012), maintaining structure and predictability helps reduce anxiety in autistic children.

When things feel off, the need to make things "right" again might look like a spontaneous shift to you—but to them, it’s balance being restored.

Communication Beyond Words

Some autistic individuals may struggle to explain what they’re feeling, even if they understand it. This can be due to alexithymia—a difficulty in identifying or expressing emotions—which is common in autism (Bird & Cook, 2013).

That doesn’t mean your child doesn’t know why they’re doing something—it just might not be easy to explain in the moment. Behavior becomes the clearest form of communication.

So when they suddenly shift gears, move things around, or shut down a task, it's not meaningless. It’s often a nonverbal message about what they need to feel safe, regulated, or comfortable.

What Can Parents Do?

Here are a few things that can help:

1. Pause before correcting. Ask yourself: Could something be overstimulating right now? Did something just change?

2. Support communication. Use visuals, emotion charts, or scripts to help them express what they’re feeling—even if it’s after the fact.

3. Stay curious, not reactive. The more you look for the why behind the behavior, the better you’ll understand your child’s needs.

Final Thoughts

Your autistic child isn’t being random. Their nervous system is constantly working to navigate a world that can feel unpredictable, intense, and overwhelming.

When they suddenly change things, it’s usually a smart (and brave) way of managing that.

As parents and family members, our job isn’t to force them to do things “our way”—it’s to meet them where they are and offer the support they need to thrive.

Remember: What may look like chaos is often your child’s best attempt at creating calm

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References:

Bird, G., & Cook, R. (2013). Mixed emotions: The contribution of alexithymia to the emotional symptoms of autism. Translational Psychiatry, 3(7), e285.

Koenig, K. P., Buckley-Reen, A., & Gargiulo, M. (2012). Efficacy of the get ready to learn yoga program among children with autism spectrum disorders: A pretest–posttest control group design. The American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 66(5), 538–546.

Tomchek, S. D., & Dunn, W. (2007). Sensory processing in children with and without autism: A comparative study using the Short Sensory Profile. The American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 61(2), 190–200.